Drabbles from a Twisted Mind
by Crackinois
Summary: An in-progress file for some shorter ficlets.  7th fic, a re-working of the ending of episode 3.07 "Crazy For You."
1. Mean Streak

**Author****'****s****Notes:** So, this is from a comment fic-a-thon on LJ where people post prompts and you write a drabble and post as a comment to the prompt. I selected the prompt, "Maybe I should have told you sooner?" Anyway, it's a drabble, very short but I thought I would cross-post it here. I'm going to leave this story in progress in case I decide to add other shorter drabbles from time to time.

**Mean Streak**

It wasn't right. She knew it wasn't. But what most people didn't realize was that Maura Isles had a mean streak. She didn't let it out to play often, no, she'd become quite adept at keeping it reined in, tightly leashed, locked up and tucked away. But…sometimes it was nice to let it out for a little jaunt.

Jane made it entirely too easy this morning. She felt a twinge of guilt, when she woke up and rolled over into the naked expanse of Jane's body and spied the subcutaneous contusion of brilliant blue and purple on her neck. Maura smiled, recollecting all the pleasure she had taken the previous night in giving Jane that hickey. And by God, it was a beauty. The best yet, complete even with easily identifiable bite marks.

Yes, Maura Isles had a mean streak. They were running late: fervent love-making from the previous night having resulted in their neglect to set an alarm. Maura gently shook Jane awake, "Jane…Jane! We've overslept."

Jane groaned, rolling into Maura's arms as she nuzzled into her neck, hands sliding from her naked ass up Maura's smooth side to grope her breasts.

Maura giggled, "You're insatiable, you know that? But, no time. I'm going to shower, if you want one you'll have to hop in with me."

The thought didn't even occur to her at first, she just assumed Jane would see the bruise in the mirror as they got ready, but Jane's already minimal morning hygiene routine was thrown further off kilter by their rush. The bathroom mirror was still foggy from the shower steam as they brushed their teeth. Jane threw on an extra pair of clothes she kept at Maura's in the event of such an occasion and with nary a scant look towards any type of reflective device, she smoothed her hands down the front of her v-neck t-shirt and proclaimed herself ready to go.

Maura paused, eyes roaming from Jane's still slightly swollen lips, to the bruise, to her wrinkled and oh-so-Jane outfit.

"What? Do I not match?" Jane questioned as they grabbed their respective work supplies and headed towards the door.

A devilish smirk slipped across Maura's lips, "No, you match just fine."

* * *

><p>A new case kept Jane mired in interviews, paperwork and deep thinking for most of the day. Yet, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was clearly up. Everyone was staring at her. When eyes finally pried off of her she would sit at her desk, check the zipper on her pants, try to subtly crane her head towards one armpit and then the other…she was sure she had remembered deodorant that morning.<p>

"Ran a little late this morning I see," Frost ribbed at one point.

"Rough night, Rizzoli?" Korsak jabbed.

_What__the__fuck?_ She couldn't figure it out.

Maura came up around lunch and reveled in the looks and giggles that floated their way as she handed Jane her lunch and announced that she had left it in her car when they arrived that morning. Yes, Maura Isles had a mean streak.

It was well into the afternoon before Jane even had so much as a chance to finally slip away to the restroom, the pot of coffee she had single handedly downed finally getting the better of her. She paid no mind to the mirror as she washed her hands and splashed the cold water on her face. Only after she had toweled off did she look at her reflection…

* * *

><p>"Maura!" Jane stormed into her girlfriend's office in the morgue. "I have a giant hickey on my neck! No wonder everyone's been looking at me all crazy all damn day!"<p>

Maura cocked her head, stood from her desk and walked towards Jane with a sheepish grin, "Oh? Maybe I should have said something sooner?"

"Ya think!" Jane growled, slamming the door behind her and closing the blinds before converging on Maura in a ravenous frenzy. She ripped the lab coat off and tossed it to the floor, marching Maura back until they slammed into the wall where Jane began to lick and suck at the tender skin of Maura's neck, drawing out vocalizations of increasing sound and intensity.

"What…" Maura panted, "What are you doing?" Her mind protested but her body overruled her, hands pawing at Jane's shirt and pulling it from her pants before wandering to her belt.

"Payback," Jane grunted as she sank her teeth into Maura's neck in a bruising kiss that nearly shook the M.E. to her knees.


	2. Keeping With Tradition

**Author's note:** Another drabble from the LJ comment ficathon. **Prompt:** Jane tells Maura what the ornaments mean as her mother puts them up. Jane's Dad actually exists./ This may be the sappiest sap that ever did sap.

**Keeping with Tradition**

Jane struggled to reach the door handle and not send her armful of groceries tumbling to the ground. She bit her lip and grunted, her finger was almost there, the precarious balance of the necessary tree decorating fare hanging on by a thread. You can do this. She was adamant about never making two trips to bring in the groceries, like it was some badge of honor to tote it all in one fell swoop.

"Jane, you should have made two trips!" Maura chastised as she swung the door open and reached to relieve Jane of some of her burden.

"Pfft!" Jane replied, though she gladly surrendered a couple of bags to Maura's helpful grasp. "Bourbon, eggnog, wine…your favorite, not the cheap stuff," Jane winked, "beer for the men…and snacks. All the necessities for the traditional Rizzoli family tree decorating extravaganza."

Maura smiled, relishing the opportunity to have a real family tradition for once. Tommy and Frankie had even taken her with them to pick out the tree. And there it stood, in all of its nearly six foot frosty-green spruce glory in her living room. They had painstakingly roamed through the boy scouts' lot to select the perfect one and loaded it into the bed of Frankie's truck and lashed it down. In a few hours they would decorate it, themselves. Hang every ornament with their own hands, not show up one afternoon to see that the interior decorator and her cadre of employees had installed a tree looking like it belonged in a couture Christmas photo shoot. No, this was a real tree, a real Christmas…a family Christmas.

"What's all this?" Jane crinkled her nose as she surveyed the various Christmas balls in hues of silver, gold and red that sat in perfectly neat boxes next to the tree.

"The ornaments," Maura replied, "I bought them a week or so ago. I've never put up my own tree before so…"

"I hope you kept the receipts," Jane began to put the boxes back in their bags, "Ma has all the ornaments we'll need, it's sort of a thing…you know, like we don't do a color scheme or anything…they're all ornaments we've collected as a family over the years."

_Even better_. Maura thought as she helped Jane bag up the Christmas balls with a smile.

* * *

><p>Frank Rizzoli could hear the carols and laughter drifting from the house as he rang the doorbell. He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked nervously on his heels as he waited, it wasn't the first time he'd thought over the past several days that perhaps coming over for the tree decorating was a bad idea.<p>

"Pop!" Jane smiled as she stepped across the threshold to give her father a hug, "I'm really glad you decided to come, it wouldn't be the same without you."

Frank wrapped his arms around his daughter and patted her on the back, "I…I don't know, your mother probably doesn't want me here, maybe I should just go…I don't want to ruin everyone's holiday."

Jane pulled back, looking her father in the eye. "We always decorate the tree together, it's tradition. We're still a family…just…different." She grabbed him by the hand and led him inside.

Angela approached them, beer in hand, extending it to her ex-husband, "I know you don't like eggnog, so I made sure Janie got your favorite."

"You look good Ange," Frank smiled.

"Thank you, I feel good. I…for the sake of the holiday, let's just declare a Christmas truce," Angela laughed raising her glass of spiked eggnog to Frank and clinking it against his beer bottle.

"You know," Maura interjected, "The famed Christmas truce of World War I was actually a series of unofficial ceasefires along the Anglo-German Western Front…"

Jane grabbed her by the arm and pulled her away, "Yeah, you, talking google…World War I…trench warfare…not very, umm, 'festive' conversation," she laughed.

Maura couldn't contain the smile as she opened the first box of Rizzoli family ornaments labeled "Jane." Every ornament Jane had ever made as a child was carefully wrapped like the most precious of treasure and stowed in that box. Popsicle stick snowflakes and cotton ball snowmen, cardboard angels with scrap cloth robes and little tiny jingle bells covered in glitter. There were boxes for Frankie and Tommy too.

"My favorite!" Frankie exclaimed, pulling out a small Transformers toy that he had painstakingly modified as a child into Santa. "Transformers…Santa…in disguise," he snorted as he sang his ornament's own personal theme song.

Jane's touch was soft on Maura's lower back as she leaned into her, "Everything we ever made, she kept. I was never good with the arts and crafts; most of mine are total crap. I keep telling her she should chuck some of it."

"No!" Maura turned aghast, "These are…these are wonderful!" A single tear formed at the corner of her eye.

"I bet your school ornaments were like, perfect," Jane mused as they began to hang the memories on the tree.

"I don't recall making many," Maura's voice quieted, "the couple I did, Mother threw them away. Our tree was always professionally decorated."

Jane's face fell for a moment as she watched Maura continue to hang the ornaments, agonizing over every placement. It never ceased to sadden her when Maura mentioned the little tidbits of neglect from her childhood. What was truly sad was how blasé the mentions were, as if Maura was almost accustomed to those feelings. Jane rooted through one of the boxes of decorating supplies and located likely decades old construction paper, scissors, a glue stick and glitter. She grabbed Maura by the wrist and led her to the table.

"Pop, you remember those paper snowflakes you used to show us how to make?" Jane looked at her father and cut her eyes towards Maura.

He chuckled, "Yeah, yeah I remember." They set to work.

"Tommy," Angela laughed as she held up a particularly atrocious pipe cleaner reindeer.

Jane snorted and elbowed Maura, "Tommy got banned from glue and glitter in school; they'd only let him work with pipe cleaners and paper."

As the boxes of handmade ornaments came to be emptied Jane gathered up the snowflakes Frank had shown Maura how to cut from the construction paper and took them to the tree, "Now, you have handmade ornaments on the tree too."

Maura sniffled, wiping at the tears that trickled down her cheeks as she placed the paper ornaments in the empty spaces.

"Maura," Angela beckoned for her to look into the last box, "Every year I give the kids an ornament. Tommy always gets a dog, Frankie gets a reindeer and Jane gets an angel. Will you help me hang them?"

Jane took a seat on the sofa next to her father and watched as her mother and Maura finished decorating the tree. "Miss you pop."

He snaked his arm around her and pulled her in to place a kiss on her temple, "Miss you too baby. I'm glad I came. I would have missed this tradition."

* * *

><p>Maura stood in front of the fully decorated tree, basking in the glow of the Christmas lights and the enveloping sense of togetherness that flowed from it. She reached out and ran a finger over one of Jane's angels and smiled. Everyone had left but Jane and in the newfound silence she closed her eyes and let the light beat of The Little Drummer Boy swirl around her.<p>

Arms wrapped around her midsection and Maura tilted her head as soft lips pressed to her neck. Jane held her from behind, pressing their cheeks together as they stared at the tree.

"When are you going to tell them, about us?" Maura asked, letting her body sink further into Jane's embrace.

"I think they already know. I think they're just waiting for me…" Jane gave Maura a squeeze, "Tomorrow, I'm going to tell them tomorrow."

"I think this will be the best Christmas I've ever had," Maura turned, capturing Jane's lips in a tender kiss.

"Mmm," Jane smiled as they separated, "Would you look at that…I think there's a present already under the tree." She watched as Maura knelt down and pulled out a tiny wrapped box. Jane ran a hand through her hair, "You should probably open that."

Maura eyed her with suspicion as she pulled the ends of the ribbon and delicately tore the wrapping paper, opening a box to reveal a crystal swan ornament engraved with her name and the year.

Jane reached for Maura's face and wiped away the ample tears, "Welcome to our tradition."


	3. All That Matters

**Author's Note:** This drabble is a re-working of the end of episode 2.12 "He ain't heavy, he's my brother."

**All That Matters**

The grilled cheese sandwich sizzled in the skillet, near invisible plumes of steam carrying the savory and comforting aroma of butter-toasted bread and molten cheddar to her nose. Jane nudged the sandwich around with the spatula, looking for that sweet spot where the burner gave off just a little extra heat that would crisp the bread to that perfect point of golden-brown perfection.

"Sure you don't want one?" she glanced over her shoulder at Maura, transferring the sandwich to a plate.

"I'm sure," Maura lifted the rare and expensive wine from the bag and held the bottle on display with an appeasing grin and the quirk of an eyebrow.

"The wine Tommy gave you?"

Maura nodded.

"And you brought it over here? To drink with me." Jane managed a half-hearted smile as she watched Mara labor to open the bottle with her rudimentary corkscrew.

"Of course, I share everything with you…" her voice trailed off.

There were too many emotions coursing through her, too many emotions in such a short period of time. Anger. Hurt. Betrayal. And something else…an emotion that should have been easily pushed aside by the others but always seemed to find purchase in her chest and hang on despite all efforts to unseat it. Jane dared say their friendship had never faced a trial like the one they had gone through when Tommy was a suspect in the murder and robbery. And that niggling emotion that should have been buried by anger and betrayal was curiously all the stronger because of it. Longing.

Maura poured the wine and fought the tears that threatened to fall and mix with the vintage, "Jane, about today, I…"

"I'm sorry," Jane blurted out. "I shouldn't have yelled at you, blamed you for what you did…what you had to do."

"I should have found a way," Maura sniffled, swirling the wine in her glass and watching the burgundy liquid roll and settle.

"No, you shouldn't have. Because he's not worth it." There it was. When it came down to it: when it came down to really considering a choice between Maura and Tommy, Jane knew she'd choose Maura.

"He's your brother," Maura protested.

"And I love him." She did, she did love her brother. It didn't mean he was always a good person. It certainly didn't mean he made the best choices. It absolutely did not mean he was right for Maura or came anywhere close within the wildest scope of her imagination to deserving her.

Jane sighed, running a hand through her hair as she pondered whether or not the feelings floating around inside her should take the form of words. That persistent feeling of being on the verge with Maura was never more acute than now. "I'm…sorry that…me, all of this got in the way of a great romance." Romance, even saying the word in reference to the two of them felt like a swift kick in the gut.

Maura looked up questioningly, "What do you mean?"

"You and Tommy. You like him, and he…" Jane motioned at her, "I know he's really into you, I mean who wouldn't be…" her voice trailed off as the last words slipped out. "But, this is why I didn't want him to pursue you and you to…" _words, Jane, choose them carefully_. "…you to return his advances. Because, this is what Tommy does, he hurts people. I love him; he's my brother, but he hurts people, Maura."

It was starting to make sense; Maura's eyes dropped for a moment before reconnecting with Jane's, "He didn't kill anyone, Jane. He wasn't involved in those robberies…"

Jane took a deep breath but it didn't calm the simmering emotions, "I know. But, he associated with other ex-cons. He violated his parole. And he's in jail…again. He hurts people. I know he doesn't mean to, but it is what it is. He hurts people, Maura. He hurts my family. He would have hurt you…" _He would have hurt you_. She could take it, she was almost used to it. But, not Maura. "You deserve better."

"I was never going to date Tommy." _Believe me, Jane. You have to believe me_. Maura's eyes pleaded for her to understand.

Nervous fingers fidgeted with the plate, turning it round and round, letting the sandwich grow cold as the minutes ticked by. Jane bit down on her lower lip, looking up at Maura, trying to make sense of it all, find order out of chaos.

Maura set her untouched glass down and pushed it aside, "I like Tommy…a lot. But, I love you."

_I love you_. The words cut through her steely exterior with no more resistance than a stroke through water. Jane felt her mouth falling open and soon the words were tripping over tongue and bumbling out, "I love you, too." How easily they came out with a staggering nonchalance that took Jane by surprise.

Maura's moves were calculated, eyes trained on the woman across the counter from her as she stepped slowly, one foot in front of the other to join Jane on the other side. "No, Jane. I _**love**_ you."

Longing. It was the only emotion that remained. It had movement, magnetic almost, pulling her, centimeter by centimeter closer to Maura, the closeness feeling like it could actually satisfy that void, which had been a part of her for so long. A void which had only grown more desolate with every passing flirtation between her brother and best friend. _Best…friend_.

"I love you," Maura repeated again, her hands reaching hesitantly for Jane's face, the slightest tremble overcoming her as they hovered a hair's breadth from making contact.

"I love you too," Jane's hands clasped around the trembling touch and closed the gap. Stillness. She closed her eyes, felt the silken strokes of Maura's thumbs as they caressed her cheeks. Her hands slid down, over delicate wrists and across bare arms until they mimicked the hold Maura had on her. Jane pulled them into a kiss, lips pressing tightly together with all the fervent passion of feelings held hostage for far too long.

_Don't let go_. Even as the kiss waned, Jane was loath to pull back, afraid if they separated it wouldn't be real, she'd open her eyes and Maura would be back on the other side of the counter as if nothing ever happened. A figment of her imagination. A creation of desire that would never be. A taunting mirage across impenetrable sands.

They opened their eyes together. _Still there_.

"I'm sorry," Maura whispered into Jane's neck as she sank into her embrace. "I'm sorry about Tommy, not just today, but everything before. I'm sorry you thought I would ever choose him over you. I'm sorry I couldn't…didn't warn you about the arrest. I do trust you to protect me; I trust you more than anyone. I didn't trust myself. I thought I ruined us today. The thought of you hating me was unbearable, I don't ever want to feel like that again."

Jane pushed Maura back as her thumb pressed firmly against her lips, "I never really hated you. Even when I was angry, I never hated you. I never could. Don't say I'm sorry again. It doesn't matter."

Maura's fingertips danced lightly down Jane's cheek, "Doesn't it?" The insecurity wasn't quite vanquished.

Plush lips beat it back; kneading palms strangled it. Jane's kiss held onto Maura's lower lip for a languid second before releasing it. "No, it doesn't. You love me?"

Maura nodded, their noses brushing together, light breaths see-sawing back and forth across the minute space between them, "I do."

"That's all that matters now."


	4. You Want Me To Eat What?

**Author's Note:** Dedicated to WalnutHulls who messaged me the one-shot prompt, "Jane and Maura go grocery shopping."

"**You Want Me To Eat What?"**

What was it about a Sunday morning that seemed so much more relaxing than any weekday morning off? Jane contemplated that as she fiddled with the Sudoku puzzle in the morning paper. _9…9…9_….she chanted to herself as she ran her finger across the rows, deducing by process of elimination where the next 9 would go. Maybe it was how there was no traffic on their morning run? No impatient drivers, barreling past at illegal speeds in a hurry to shave off an extra minute or two from their commute time. No blaring horns. No fresh exhaust billowing around their faces as they ran. Running on Sunday mornings was nice, especially when the early service bells of the churches chimed in concert.

"9…8…7…6…" she ran her finger down one line, "5!"

Maybe it was the anticipation of the Sunday games that would start in a few hours. She'd already pulled out her Pats jersey and had it ready to go, laying it out with the same care and tenderness that Maura would put out a designer dress for fancy cocktail hour. Maybe it was because Sundays meant family dinner. Not that they didn't have dinner all together other nights but Sunday was always a guarantee. Besides, Frankie had gone on two dates this week with the same girl and she hadn't had the chance to play older sister about it yet and try to embarrass him in front of their mother.

Maura peered over her shoulder, and surveyed Jane's progress on the puzzle; she smiled, taking a sip of her coffee. "The 4 goes here…here…and here…2 here…1 there…and that should be a 7."

"Dammit! Maura!" Jane huffed.

"You said you would go the grocery store with me when you finished your puzzle, almost half an hour ago," Maura smirked as she placed a hand on her hip and waited.

Jane groaned; she hated going to the grocery store. She couldn't explain it really, she imagined it harkened back to her childhood and being dragged around the market by her mother for what seemed like hours, endless hours of buy one get one free and coupon sorting and matching. Shopping for a family of five was no quick affair.

"Fine, let's go."

* * *

><p>Jane plodded along behind Maura through the fresh vegetables, arms crossed, reading the cards above clearly foreign vegetation. "Who eats this stuff?"<p>

Maura laughed under her breath, looking back with amusement over her shoulder, "You do, Jane. I do. Many people."

"I certainly do not eat…" she glanced back at the card, "…Bok Choy."

"It's just cabbage, Jane. You've had it many times in Chinese cuisine."

Maura stopped in front of a selection of radicchio and admired the vibrant maroon heads of the leafy vegetable with their contrasting white veins that spidered through the leaves.

"I think you should pick something else, there's something wrong with that lettuce," Jane grabbed a head of iceberg and held it out.

"There's nothing wrong with it," Maura smiled, waving away Jane's suggestion, "it's radicchio, it's supposed to look like this and it's not lettuce, it's a leafy chicory and it's Italian."

Jane eyed the vegetable with suspicion.

"Did you like the salad I made for your lunch this past week," Maura inquired nonchalantly. Jane nodded. "The little reddish strips were sliced raddichio. However, I think I'll grill this one or perhaps serve it with a nice risotto. The bitter taste when eaten raw is lessened when cooked."

Aisle after endless aisle of shit that looked nothing like what she had ever purchased in the normal people's grocery store, you know, the one where people weren't ashamed to saunter in wearing their pajamas or with uncombed hair. _Organic…beer_. There just had to be something wrong with that. Not to mention that a box of cereal cost nearly a day's pay. Ok, she exaggerated a little when she made that comment to Maura. And she felt a little bad because one morning when she was really desperate she had actually tried Maura's Musli-GoLean-Nut-Crunch-Berry Flakes with Granola-McYogurt-Clusters or whatever the hell it was called, being as she couldn't read what language the box was in. In any event, it wasn't half bad.

"Soy milk!" Oh, now Maura was going too far. "That is not milk."

Maura quirked an eyebrow, looking at the carton in her hand and back at Jane, "Technically you are correct, as soy milk is derived from the process of soaking, grinding and draining soy beans and not from the mammary glands of a cow or other suitable animal…"

Jane held up a hand, "Please, spare me the intimate details of bovine lactation." _Bovine lactation? Dammit._ Maura was rubbing off on her.

"It is comparable in many ways to the nutritional value of cow's milk, and…" Maura tapped the date on the top of the carton, "…it keeps much longer than regular milk thus reducing the likelihood of waste." She felt instantly proud of the case she had made.

"Nope. I drink milk. Like, real milk." Jane crossed her harms and nearly stomped her foot much as a petulant child would at the onset of a proper tantrum.

"Mmmhmm, Jane, may I ask you something?" Maura paused. "Have you noticed, say, in the past month, less gastrointestinal upset, lessened abdominal bloating and…decreased flatulence?"

"Maura!" Jane's mouth dropped aghast as she looked around quickly to make sure no one was within in earshot. With a deep breath intended to beat back the red rash of embarrassment she was certain was creeping up her neck, Jane pondered the question, "Maybe…a little."

"Yes, as I suspected. I believe you may be mildly lactose intolerant," Maura tapped the carton again, "lactose free."

_No dice_, _Dr. Smartypants_, "I haven't been drinking soy milk for the past month," Jane retorted.

Maura put the carton in the shopping cart, "Oh, yes you have. I simply washed out the old milk jug and refilled it with soy milk. I've noticed you never check the expiration date, a dangerous practice might I add, so I hypothesized that you would not notice the switch." Maura smiled, waggling her eyebrows as her dimples beat Jane into submission.

"What next? Are we going to buy tofu like the quintessential little lesbian couple?" Jane ribbed, the words dripping with sarcasm.

"In fact…"

"Maura!" Jane whined, "I don't want to be vegetarian."

"Neither do I Jane. But, I happen to enjoy some dishes with tofu instead of meat." Maura selected a fresh block of extra firm tofu from the shelf.

"Well, I don't"

"Hmm, did you like that teriyaki stir fry, I made a couple of weeks ago?" Maura turned and drummed her fingers on the rail of the cart.

"Yeah that was delicious, you should make that agai…Maura…"

"Tofu, Jane."

"That wasn't fried egg, was it?"

"Tofu."

"Tofu. Of course it was." Jane sighed.

Maura moved her cart to the side of the next aisle and stepped up behind an elderly gentleman and waited patiently. The machine he was operating ground out a steady hum.

"Ok, now, fresh ground coffee I can get behind," Jane remarked, placing her hands on Maura's shoulders and giving her a gentle squeeze.

"That's not a coffee grinder," Maura let her hand fall on top of Jane's and gave it a pat back. "Fresh peanut butter."

"No, I'm putting my foot down. You do not mess with a detective's comfort food. Some things are sacred, Maur. Sacred."

Maura stepped up to the grinder and placed one of the plastic containers under the dispenser. She glanced at Jane, who was in a full on pout and shook her head with exasperation.

"Just…tell me, what's wrong with good old fashioned Jif extra creamy?" Jane watched as the peanut butter oozed out of the spout. It reminded her of one of those play-doh sets where you put the hunk of clay in the hole and a lever squeezes it out in long varying shaped ribbons.

"This has less sugar and preservatives. You seemed to like it fine when your mother made us peanut butter and fluff sandwiches during the Thursday night football game…"

"No…No! You already bait and switched me with peanut butter too! And my own mother was complicit!"

Maura laughed, wrapping her arms around her pouty girlfriend's waste and lifting up on her toes to place a light kiss to her lips. "I'm…sorry?"

"You are not," Jane tried to keep a straight face, but couldn't, chuckling as she let Maura kiss her again, "and you're a terrible liar, remember?"

"You're right. I'm not sorry."

Jane picked up the peanut butter, "Can we…put it in the Jif jar? I think it will hurt my pride less that way. And, exactly how long have you been switching out all my foods?"

"How long have we been dating?" Maura asked with a flippant tone as she winked and motioned for Jane to push the cart as she walked towards the check out aisle.

"Two months…" _Unbelievable_. Jane shook her head with an amused smile as she followed.


	5. Errant Arrows

**Fict prompt:** from caitylove – Jane and Maura Valentine's Day, everything goes wrong.

**Errant Arrows**

Jane grinned and chuckled as she read the anti-Valentine message Frankie had emailed her: "Happy unimaginative, consumerist-oriented and entirely arbitrary, manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance day," complete with black, broken hearts sparkling around the text.

She shook her head. "Don't be bitter Frankie," she emailed back with a wink. Who was she kidding, that sentiment was a perfect representation of her feelings every single Valentine's Day she could remember since before she even hit puberty. The last valentine she could remember getting was in the fifth grade and that didn't really count because they were required to give everyone in their class a card. But, this year – this year was different. It was her first Valentine's Day with Maura, and by God, it was going to be perfect.

* * *

><p>It was going to be perfect…that was until…<p>

Jane kicked Maura's front door lightly with her foot, careful not to whack it too hard for fear of leaving a scuff, but keeping her from setting down the groceries in her hand. _Come on, Maura, it's the crack of dawn and freezing cold out here._ She peered in the window and could finally see Maura barreling towards the door in a state of frantic and disheveled duress.

"What are you doing here so early?" Maura blurted out, pulling her robe together and shivering from the gust of cold air that accompanied Jane in through the door.

"Uh, Happy Valentine's Day to you too, Maur." Jane chuckled as she shook her head and made her way to the kitchen. "I came over to cook you breakfast."

"Oh!" Maura covered her mouth with one hand and her heart with the other. "Oh, Jane. That's so sweet. But…my power is out. I think the ice storm last night must have caused it. No one on the street has power."

Jane's face sank as she dropped the bags to the counter in a display of obvious disappointment. Maura moved into her body, wrapping her arms around the despondent detective's waist and kissing her lightly on the lips. "It's the thought that counts," Maura offered.

_Thoughts don't taste like bacon and french toast._ Jane kissed Maura back, "I suppose. We can grab something on the way to work."

* * *

><p>Jane bounced from foot to foot and stared at her watch. <em>What is this, like the only coffee shop open in Boston this morning? <em>The line was stagnant, she wasn't sure she'd moved an inch in ten minutes. She glanced at her watch again. Maura's power being out had delayed her very involved morning regimen and Café Paradiso wasn't helping their rush. _We're gonna be late._

_Finally!_ Jane leaned forward on the counter with a huff, "Ok, grande, tall, large whatever it's called – biggest coffee you got, house blend, put it in a trough, an IV I don't care just coffee, lots of it, black. And a…super-sized…"

"This isn't McDonald's," the barista replied with curt disdain.

_Well, apparently someone left their sense of humor at home today_. "Yeah…anyway," Jane continued, "A, whatever the largest size is, caramel toffee, two and a half pumps hazelnut soy something or other, with no foam, machio-latte or whatever it's called…"

"I got it, name…" the young woman rolled her eyes.

"And two bagels with cream cheese," Jane tacked on for extra measure.

_Christ, there are peace treaties with shorter names than this coffee_, Jane mused as she trotted back to the car. Vehicle in sight, she checked her watch once more, completely oblivious to the patch of ice on the sidewalk, until….

"Ow," Jane moaned from both the jarring fall against the frigid pavement and the contrasting burn from the coffee now soaking through her shirt. Comedy of errors. _Is there a hidden camera around here?_

"Jane! Are you ok?" Maura ran to her side.

"Yeah, got your coffee," she handed the now half-empty cup to Maura, "Happy Valentine's Day."

* * *

><p>"What the hell…" Frost couldn't help himself as Jane's bedraggled form entered the bullpen.<p>

She held up one finger, "Not…been…a good morning. And now for the rest of the day I get to smell like Maura's triple chocolate mocha venti two pumps soy whipped foam espressiato or whatever the hell it was."

"Damn. Well, maybe this case will take your mind off it. Call just came in, Korsak's out de-icing the car," Frost stood and threw his coat on. "Ready to roll?"

* * *

><p><em>Well, so much for lunch with Maura<em>. Jane gritted her teeth and growled in frustration as they sat in a traffic jam on the way back to the station from the crime scene.

"Plans for tonight?" Korsak asked as he leaned forward and poked his head into the front of the car, trying to lighten the mood from the dense cloud of Rizzolified gloom that had settled over them.

"Me and some buddies got Celtics tickets, probably hit a bar after the game and see if there are any lonely single ladies looking for some company," Frost laughed.

Jane raised an eyebrow and shook her head, "Classy, Frost."

"What! We're single, they're single, it's Valentine's Day, if that makes them a little more responsive to a free drink and a dance then…hey, just doing my gentlemanly duty to make them feel appreciated," Frost tried to keep a straight face as he said it. "You must have big plans. Your first Valentine's Day since you and Maura started dating."

Jane smiled, "I made reservations at that French place, Le Beau Truc."

* * *

><p>"Later that same day!" Jane exclaimed as they finally pulled up to headquarters.<p>

Korsak finished his phone conversation as they parked, "Cavanaugh says some black and whites picked up our suspect while we were in traffic. They've already got him in interview 1."

"K, I'll meet you guys up there." Jane hopped in the elevator and punched the button for the morgue. Their first Valentine's Day together and the extent of their interaction for the day had been the car ride to work that morning.

Various lab techs tapped away on computers and processed evidence, Jane glanced around and not seeing Maura headed for her office.

"Detective Rizzoli," John looked up from his microscope, "Dr. Isles got another call, she's not here."

Jane spun on her heels with a heavy sigh. _Of course she's not_.

* * *

><p>The day was nearing the point of being painfully ridiculous. Jane paced Maura's living room, into the dining room, the kitchen and then started the rounds over again. The universe was clearly fucking with her today. She stopped, finally hearing the key turn in the lock as Maura burst through the door.<p>

"I'm so sorry!" Maura apologized as she ran past Jane with nary a hello on her way to the bedroom. "Two autopsies! And then I had to get to the dry cleaner. Thankfully Angela was able to give you a ride or we'd be even further behind." Maura began stripping off her clothes from the day as Jane sat on the bed and watched with an admiring eye. She stepped through the dress and shimmied…

_You've got to be kidding me_. Jane winced as Maura tugged and then tugged again, the dress refusing to budge over her hips. _They shrunk her dress._

"They shrunk my dress!" Maura exclaimed in horror. Then the tears came. She stepped out of the garment and threw it to the floor in a crumpled wad.

"Oh no, no, no." Jane leaped off the bed and rushed towards her, "Don't cry. No. It's not the end of the world, you've got plenty of dresses…"

Maura collapsed into her arms, "I picked this dress out specifically for tonight. I had it tailored to fit perfectly. It was supposed to be perfect…" she choked out amidst the sobs.

"Maur," Jane tilted her chin up, "You could walk in that restaurant in sweatpants and a t-shirt and I'd still know for a fact that I have the most beautiful date in the whole place." They kissed, their first real Valentine's kiss, deep and heated, Jane felt Maura's tension relax and slip away.

"Your any old thing is every other person's couture, so throw on a dress and let me show you off," Jane winked.

* * *

><p>"Check it…again," Jane asked with growing impatience as the Maitre d' again perused the reservation book.<p>

"Ah! I see, here it is," his finger landing on the colored box on the screen that read Rizzoli.

An audible sigh of relief rushed past Jane's lips as she squeezed Maura's hand. _Thank God…at least one thing will go right to…_

"But," he continued, "It would seem your reservation was for 7 pm and it is now 7:45."

"I made this reservation over a month ago!" Jane's voice began to ratchet up in volume and exasperation.

"Jane," Maura whispered, glancing around at the other staff and patrons that were starting to stare. "It's ok…"

"It's not ok!" Jane whispered with passion. "It's Valentine's Day. And not a damn thing has gone right all day!"

"Ma'am I do apologize, but your reservation was for 7 pm and we cannot hold tables, particularly on a busy night such as tonight once the time of the reservation has lapsed," the Maitre D' clasped his hands signaling the final word.

* * *

><p>"You know, I've never had a date on Valentine's Day," Jane paused to take a bite of food and wash it down with a sip of champagne. "I was kind of hoping that maybe Cupid owed me one."<p>

Maura chuckled, "In legend cupid is at times portrayed as bumbling, for instance when he accidentally nicked himself with his own arrow causing him to fall in love with Psyche who he was supposed to punish. In Vergil's Aeneid, Cupid's matchmaking makes Dido fall in love with Aeneas whereupon a dejected suitor and son of Jupiter arranges to have Aeneas sent away prompting Dido to commit suicide in her grief."

"So, what you're saying is, maybe we were better off without Cupid's intervention?" Jane laughed, reaching her hand across the table to Maura. "I'm sorry Valentine's Day got all screwed up. I just wanted to show you how much these last couple of months have meant to me. I wanted tonight to be perfect."

Maura pushed her plate aside, glanced around the Dirty Robber and then scooted out of the booth to join Jane on the other side. She settled into Jane's embrace and let her head fall against an inviting shoulder. "I'm with you. The place doesn't matter. Just being here with you is perfect."


	6. I'd Give You Anything

**I'd Give You Anything**

Jane knocked on the door and dreaded what she would see when it opened. If Maura looked anything like she sounded on the phone she was going to be a red-eyed, splotchy-faced, snotty mess. And that mess always broke Jane's heart. In her line of work Jane had the misfortune of seeing a lot of people cry. Some criminals cried when they were busted; Jane couldn't muster even the tiniest shred of sympathy then. Victims' families, those were hard, parents that just lost children, children that lost parents or siblings or friends. She got used to them though. You had to if you worked homicide. People died. And almost everyone had someone that loved them. She couldn't get used to Maura crying, however. When Maura Isles cried Jane wanted to fight the world, tie up all the bad things – people, emotions, whatever, and lock them away, tell them that they could wreak their havoc on every human being in the world…but, not Maura.

She opened the door just as Jane expected, tears streaming down her reddened face, eyes swollen, unable to speak coherently.

"No, no, no…" Jane felt her own lip begin to quiver as she rushed forward and gathered Maura into her arms.

"They hate me…" Maura sobbed, burying her face in the shoulder of Jane's shirt.

Jane's jaw clenched and her arm tightened around Maura's back as they other stroked her hair. The thought crossed her mind: putting Maura in the car and driving to the house of one Dr. Hope Martin. You didn't hate Maura. No one could hate Maura. And Hope Martin certainly wasn't allowed to hate Maura for a lifetime of circumstance that was never Maura's fault to begin with.

Jane took a deep breath and calmed herself; she could run off half-cocked. It was what she had always done…until Maura. Maura made her think. "They don't hate you." She turned her head, feeling Maura's hair against the skin of her cheek and lips. "They're shocked, just like you were when you found out about Colin and Doyle. Sometimes people get angry and reject things that confuse them."

Exhale. Jane smiled as she felt Maura's cleansing breath against her neck. Maura nodded and began to pull out of the embrace, "Oh!" Embarrassed, she brought the tissue to her nose and blew as she wiped at the large wet spot on Jane's shoulder. "I…think I got…"

Glancing to her shoulder, Jane laughed, "You got snot on my shoulder. It's not the first time."

They walked to the sofa and sat down. The table was already littered with used tissues. Jane reached out and let her hand settle on Maura's arm, her thumb falling into a familiar and comforting caress.

"I have been crying on your shoulder a lot lately," Maura chuckled. "If you ever need to cry on mine…"

Jane squeezed her arm, "You've had my blood all over your hands; I think I've gotten the better deal with the tears and the snot."

Maura's face softened as she placed one hand over Jane's, "You've had mine on yours too," she said solemnly

_The car accident._ "Ah," Jane nodded. "We really are a pair." They sat for a moment in silence before Jane reached for a couple of preemptive tissues, "Tell me what happened."

More tears. When Maura cried her eyes became slits and her face was so pained. Her whole body cried. _It's not fair_, Jane thought, _too many people have made her cry in her life and she's never deserved any of it. _

"I…I don't know what I thought it would be like," Maura stammered, "It's just, out of all the scenarios I thought of…that wasn't one of them. The…anger…like they were disgusted by me."

"You know that's not true," Jane handed her another tissue.

"Cailin said she didn't want any part of me inside of her," Maura's head hung as she said it, her body shaking with each gut-wrenching sob. "I always wanted a sibling. Being adopted I think I wondered about having a sister or brother even more than what my biological parents were like. And now…I have a brother who is dead and a sister who is dying and I can save her and she won't let me."

It was hard for Jane to understand. She had two brothers, and she loved them, but she couldn't quite imagine what not having siblings and wanting them would feel like. "You can't force your kidney on her."

Maura nodded, "I know. I wish I could. I…just never wanted to cause them so much pain."

Jane couldn't help but chuckle, though the laugh was short-lived when Maura glared at her, "You don't want anyone else to hurt, even when you yourself are suffering. Have I told you lately that you're incredible?"

Maura sniffled again, her lower lip still slightly trembling, "You might have mentioned it," she said softly, a tiny smile playing at the corner of her mouth.

"Blow," Jane handed her another tissue.

"No," Maura straightened up, tossing her hair and squaring her shoulders. It always impressed Jane, the resolve she could have in a moment to turn things around. "No, I'm done crying about this. In fact, I should be insulted!" She tried to feign an air of haughtiness as she said it. "That girl rejected my kidney."

Now, Jane laughed, "The nerve," she arched her eyebrows dramatically, her strokes on Maura's arm traveling down until she clasped her hand.

"I know, right?" Maura cocked her head. "It's a very nice kidney."

Jane smirked and nodded, "She could do much worse than your all organic, grass fed, multi-vitamin infused kidney…she could have gotten stuck with…my burger-eating, beer-swilling kidney."

Maura let loose and at least now her body was shaking from laughter and not tears. Jane closed her eyes for a moment as she giggled and when she opened them again Maura had scooted right next to her across the small space that had been between them on the sofa.

Maura flexed her fingers that were intertwined with Jane's and looked at her friend, "When you said you'd maybe give Tommy or Frankie a kidney, but you'd definitely give me one…did you really mean that?"

"Of course I did; I'd give you anything within my power to give you," Jane answered without hesitation.

"Why?" The question crawled out on a hesitant whisper.

If she could have stopped it she would, but Maura broken down broke her down and with nary a thought to it the words came spilling out of Jane's mouth, "Because I love you."

She looked up and saw Maura's eyes wide, her mouth hanging slightly open, "Oh…shit." Jane pulled her hand away and tried to stand but Maura grabbed her arm and pulled her forcefully back to the sofa. "I can't believe I just said that…" Jane buried her face in her hands. _Maybe it was a dream_.

Maura didn't relax her grip on Jane's arm, instead she wrapped her other arm around Jane's to anchor them together as she gently laid her cheek on Jane's shoulder, "I love you too, Jane."

Jane turned her head just enough to peek through a space between her fingers. She let Maura reach out and pull her hands the rest of the way down. Leaning back against the sofa, Jane closed her eyes. Maura had said the words before. _I like Tommy, a lot. But, I love you._ She was pretty sure she had said them before too in passing, like one does with a good friend. _Love ya, buddy._ Something corny like that. That wasn't how she meant it just now when she told Maura she loved her. It wasn't how she meant it when she'd tossed it around before; when she'd couched it in platonic friendliness to mask the true sentiment behind the words.

"Maura…I…I just want to be clear. I love you. Like, I…"

Maura's hands were soft on her face and for a second Jane felt terrible that in her time of need Maura was having to comfort her. She opened her eyes and Maura was so close she could feel controlled breaths rolling across her lips.

"And I love you, Jane."

She was scared; she could feel her heart beating erratically. It didn't feel like this when she was with Dean; it didn't even feel like this when she had tried to convince herself that she was in love with Casey by saying the words to him. No, this was the flesh-tearing burn and sheer terror of reality, she meant it and now Maura was saying it back. It was terrifying and exhilarating and for a moment absolutely paralyzing.

_What the hell_. Jane wrapped her hand around Maura's neck and pulled them together, lips melting together with tentative passion. It was short, but the warmth of the kiss filled every part of her. They separated and Maura smiled before being beset with a laugh that preceded another small trickle of tears.

"That bad?" Jane groaned, her cheeks flushing red with embarrassment as she reached to wipe the streaks of moisture away.

"No," Maura shook her head, "no, it was perfect."

"That wasn't exactly how I planned to comfort you when I came over here tonight," Jane smiled, the backs of her fingers caressing the tear-stained skin of Maura's face.

Pulling Jane with her, Maura laid down on the sofa. Front to front, Maura snaked an arm under Jane's and around her back until she found a lock of hair to wrap around her finger. "You're the only person in my life, that's always been there for me. Even when we were fighting, you were still trying to protect me."

Jane pressed their lips together in another short kiss, "I've loved you for so long…I just didn't know what it was or how to say it until now."

Maura pulled them together again, her tongue flicking lightly over Jane's lower lip until Jane relented and let Maura take what she wanted. They both moaned, the kiss growing deeper and more impassioned. Jane battled back and claimed Maura's mouth in turn. Lips separated but every other part of themselves was tangled with the other, legs wrapped over and under, arms woven around each other and buried in hair.

Forehead to forehead they lay silently for a few passing minutes, the stress of the evening making them weary. Maura's hand slid from Jane's back and pulled at the tail of her shirt until she was able to feel the skin of Jane's hip against her hand. Jane was warm, her very touch was comfort and Maura felt the rejection and abject loneliness from earlier in the evening slip away. Her hand traveled higher, over the rises and dips of Jane's ribs, under the swell of her breast and over until her palm settled flatly against Jane's chest to absorb the steady beat that reverberated up from beneath.

"I don't need your kidney," Maura smiled, her eyes flashing open to bask in the dark gaze that looked back at her.

"Why's that?" Jane asked coyly as she leaned in to steal another kiss.

Maura's fingers tightened and flexed over the skin and bone that sheltered Jane's heart, "Because you gave me this instead."


	7. Unspoken

**Author's Note**: A post-ep for 3.08 "Crazy for You." All my post-eps for this season will take place on Maura's couch. I jest. I don't jest though if Janet Tamaro keeps writing terrible episode enders on Maura's couch that just must be fixed. Please note – a very small rape mention.

**Unspoken**

The black mug was piping hot and steaming as she wrapped her fingers around it. A medical conference logo was worn and barely visible on the side from years of too many washes and clasped hands in need of a comforting beverage. Jane held the mug to her nose and let the tendrils of steam carry the spiced fragrance of cinnamon, vanilla and warm milk to her nose. She'd really wanted a beer but one beer might lead to two beers might lead to the whole six-pack. Not drinking to excess in the aftermath of trauma, it was something the therapist had talked about with her after the last brush with Hoyt almost a year ago. Jane took a sip. She hadn't had warm milk since she was a child. It was strangely refreshing and comforting at the same time, reminiscent of nights in her father's lap when she couldn't sleep and he sang a soft tune in a gentle baritone that few knew he possessed.

Maura came, carrying her own mug and eyed Jane ensconced under a blanket on her sofa before lifting the corner of the cover to settle down directly beside her.

"There's a whole sofa, ya know," Jane set her mug aside and looked at her friend who stared blankly ahead.

Maura didn't respond except to reach forward and put her mug on the coffee table and then let her head fall to Jane's shoulder as she tucked her feet to her side under the blanket.

"I always wanted to go to Hawaii. My head looked good there, didn't you think? The company could have been better." Levity. Something light to break the silence. Jane knew she could either laugh or she could cry. She really didn't want to cry. Again.

Maura nuzzled in closer, "We'll take vacation in the late spring. I'll take you there. There's a lovely resort on Oahu I've frequented several times. Very rustic, not overly touristy. There's some beautiful hiking…horseback riding on the beach…"

"Can I stay here…" Jane interrupted. She hadn't expected Maura to take the comment and go anywhere with it. She didn't want to talk about Hawaii, about the vacation she almost never got the chance to take. "Until I find a new apartment?"

"Of course. You're welcome to stay as long as you like," Maura ran her thumb lightly back and forth across Jane's forearm.

"I just, you know, didn't want to violate your one guest rule for too long," Jane joked, giving her shoulder a little lift to rouse Maura out of her somberness.

"You're not a guest, you're mi…" _Mine_. It almost tumbled out in a way that would have been utterly inexplicable. Maura caught it, eyes slamming shut as she took a deep breath, "…my…you're my…" Tears.

Jane turned and pulled Maura into her arms, felt her shaking like she did when she was trying so hard to be unemotional. Jane held her tighter, buried her face in Maura's neck and twined Maura's ponytail around her fingers as Maura clawed and wadded handfuls of Jane's disheveled hair in her grasp.

"Wanna talk about it?" Jane asked reluctantly. She didn't want to talk about it. There would be plenty of talking about when she once again found herself in the department shrink's office. The shrink should offer frequent client miles. That trip to Hawaii would be paid for.

"No," Maura muttered as she sniffled and tried to control her breathing. Everything had been so out of her control recently. And then to almost lose Jane…again. There was only so much one person could bear; Maura was sure she was nearing the break.

"Really?" Jane asked, pulling back.

Maura shook her head, wiping at the tears in the unique way she that had. Jane cocked her head with a small smile as Maura brought the back of one finger to each eye and swiped. "No, because I know you don't want to."

Biting her lip, Jane sighed, "I do, if you need to."

"It's just…" Maura paused and closed her eyes. A moment of stillness, that's all she needed. "This was worse than Hoyt for me."

With her elbow propped on the back of the sofa, Jane rested her head in her hand. Maura reached out and ran the tips of her fingers through Jane's hair and then mimicked her pose. She watched Jane's hand picking nervously at the blanket and let her own fall over it. Her hand calmed and turned to allow Maura's to fill it with a reassuring squeeze.

"I didn't want to watch. To see him hurt you the way he was going to hurt you," Maura began. "At least with Hoyt, he was going to rape and kill me first. I wouldn't have had to see you suffer the same."

Jane closed her eyes and balled up her fist, bringing it to her mouth so she could bite down on her knuckles. If she could make it hurt somewhere else, maybe the weight of Maura's words wouldn't seem so devastating. But, it didn't help. She opened her eyes as the tears she had so masterfully held back until then began to trickle down her face. "And can't you see…that's exactly why that day in the infirmary with Hoyt was worse for me."

Maura nodded.

A loose curl shifted and splayed across Maura's face. Jane reached for it, running her fingers down the silky strand as she gently pushed it back and tucked it behind her friend's ear. "Why does this keep happening?"

The sheer ridiculous bad luck of it all was becoming more and more perplexing. The nature of Jane's work was dangerous; Maura knew that. Being so close to Jane naturally drew her in. But the totality of the recent storms they had weathered alone and together were taking them beyond the realm of random statistical probability.

"Bad karma…from a previous life," Maura offered, trying to keep a straight face as a thin smile played at the corner of her lips.

"Ah," Jane nodded, "bad karma…previous life. Of course. Who do you think we were?"

Maura pondered and then regarded Jane with a raised eyebrow, "Perhaps you're a descendant of Odysseus. Your penchant for being lured into vans is retribution for your ancestor's Trojan Horse ploy."

Jane chuckled, "Witty, Dr. Isles. Witty." Her head fell to the back of the sofa and Jane closed her eyes, a small hum escaping as the back of Maura's hand stroked lightly down her cheek.

"You're tired."

Jane nodded and opened her eyes, "Afraid to sleep though."

"No one can hurt you here," Maura reassured her.

"Dreams can." Jane sat up and swung her feet to the floor. She glanced at Maura by her side and sighed, "I can't stay awake for ever though, can I?"

"Prolonged sleep deprivation can mimic psychosis including hallucinations and heightened paranoia."

"Nightmares it is then," Jane stood and looked down at Maura with solemn eyes that needed no words to speak of the need for company.

Maura stood to join her. As Jane turned she reached back and wiggled her fingers until Maura answered by sliding her hand into the expectant grasp.

* * *

><p>They left the table lamp on by Jane's side of the bed at her request and settled side by side on their backs under the downy comforter. With her fingers locked together across her abdomen, Jane stared up at the ceiling. It made her think about her apartment and that little crack with the flap of peeling paint right over her bed that she'd been trying to get the landlord to fix for months. That didn't matter anymore. When she closed her eyes it wasn't Dominick that she saw in the darkness. It wasn't Hoyt either. That was something to be thankful for. What she did see ignited a different kind of fear. Maura. Her voice, panicked, drifting down the hallway of the hospital. <em>Where is she!<em> The look on her face as she blew past a nurse and burst into the exam room. In that moment, when Jane looked up and caught her eyes, her friend's face was torn between the gripping fear of the ordeal and the relief that they were no longer looking at each other across a computer screen. She wasn't even mad or embarrassed that a nurse was in the middle of her rape exam.

_I'm ok, Maura_, Jane nodded. Maura took a deep breath and apologized, _I just needed to see you._ But, Jane knew that she wasn't ok. And the reason for it wasn't Charles Hoyt and it wasn't Dominick Bianchi either. It was everything unspoken. Yet, the words were almost more terrifying than a scalpel at her throat or the gruff baker's hands from earlier on her body.

Jane rolled over, scooting into Maura's side as she laid her head on her friend's chest. "I…needed to see you too. Earlier. In the hospital."

Maura again found comfort in the strokes of her fingers through Jane's hair. She ran her other hand down the arm Jane had draped across her and strained to kiss the crown of dark hair just within reach.

"Face me," Jane asked softly, almost meekly, as she lifted her head and gave Maura a little tug until she acquiesced and rolled onto her side. "No nightmares like this," she offered as she rested her forehead against Maura's and settled into the tight embrace.

"How can you be sure?" Maura lifted her chin and pressed her lips to Jane's brow.

"Because…I didn't have any after Hoyt when you stayed with me that night." Deep breath. As trite as it was, Jane considered that perhaps the old saying on fear was true. The real terror was the fear of fear. "You're mine…that's what you wanted to say…a little while ago in the living room. Wasn't it?"

No words. Maura nodded, forehead and nose skimming across Jane's with the motion.

_That wasn't so scary_. Jane opened her eyes, smiling at how Maura kept hers shut in one last-ditch effort to shield herself. She ran her thumb across the perfect arch of Maura's eyebrow, down her cheek until it ghosted lightly over Maura's lip. When her eyes finally opened, Jane pressed their lips together. It was a still kiss, slow and controlled. There would be a time for passion, for exploration later. Now was the time for something that could convey the words theretofore unspoken.

Jane slowly let the kiss wane and their lips fall apart, "I am. Yours."


End file.
